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Secksy specksy

NERDS lemme hear ya!

When I was a wee nerdlet, I read a Babysitter’s Little Sister book. And by “a…book” you’ll know I meant “all the…books”. The first one I read was the one where the main character (to wit, the little sister) got glasses. And colour me jealous. I wanted those goddamn glasses. I wanted them bad. Alas, I was blessed with excellent vision.

Frankly, it was for the best. As a child (until about 27) I was grimy and ill-coordinated, so glasses would have turned my world into a greasy and unpredictable haze.

But now, with eyes that need to work harder to get through a day of computerland, ten-year-old me’s dreams have come true. I got me some reading glasses. I need them to spent eight hours a day reading without my eyes drying up into paper orbs that crackle when I blink.

So far, they’re not the blissful awakening I’d imagined, where everyone takes me a little more seriously and I discover preternaturally excellent perception. They’re not magic. In fact, the first week has been one of neck pain and eye grumbles as I get used to them. And they do get grimy. Don’t ask me how. It’s not like I’m eating Vegemite with my fingers.

But I have to admit: they look darn rad. Stylin’ purple rims with swirly cut-outs along the arms; they were basically made for me.

It seems however, I have one remaining skill to cultivate: that of taking an attractive with-glasses selfie. Stay tuned.

 

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