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An Analysis of an Illness

Early warning signs:

Scene I
M: Do you want a cup of tea?
bethini: I don’t care.
M: Do you want to watch Spongebob?
bethini: *dribbling audibly* What? Yes, please.
M: Maybe you should have an early night.
bethini: It won’t help. Nothing helps.

Scene II
bethini: I think that works well.
boss: Are you alright? Your eyes are doing that wandering thing.
bethini: *struggles to maintain eyeball control* I think I might need to go home early.

Bad signs:

  • Subject has no interest in knitting, food, or reading. Not even Twitter.
  • Subject does not give two squirts in a bucket about this development.
  • Subject whining frequently about feeling too hot, reluctant to expend energy to correct situation.
  • Subject’s naps as rich with weird and vivid dreams as a fruitcake is with fruit. (The dreams are the fruit.)

Promising developments:

  • Subject interested in Tumblr, slowly graduates to Twitter.
  • Subject develops rudimentary opinions.
  • Subject cuddles balls of yarn in bed, begins adding projects to Ravelry queue.
  • Subject’s naps become restorative instead of exhausting.

The road to recovery:

  • Subject begins reading a new book and knitting.
  • Subject showing interest in whiskey.

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