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Less than chill

Dudes, it has been hot. Cripplingly hot. Australia is going through some horrible weather right now. The fire danger is off the scale, and the Bureau of Meteorology had to extend its y-axis when charting average temperatures because Australian towns are frequently reporting daily temperatures from 45-50°C. THAT’S TOO DAMN HOT. My ride to work is sweaty, my lunchtime walks an exercise in slow-baked lungs, and the ride home makes me want to vomit. Sleeping is out of the question, because it’s like trying to sleep at a fan convention, and I can’t even soothe myself with a Nice Cup Of Tea because it’s too damn hot for tea. And don’t get me started on the whole “but a hot cup of tea cools you down!” crap. Next person who says that to me gets a sweaty slap to the face.

If I were a clever and witty and dazzling food blogger, I would now present a twinkly list of Top 10 Hot Day Meals! No Oven Needed! But I will not. The heat has sent my diet down the shitter: my current food groups are Things That Are Cold, Things That Are Not Cold But Don’t Need Cooking, and Yoghurt. I’m eating a lot of Weetbix, a lot of fruit, and a lot of vegetables. Only the farmers’ markets were closed until last weekend, so the fresh fruit and vegetable supply was getting low. Luckily, I remembered that strawberry ice cream is a fruit.

One glorious day this week, the temperature was less than 30°C when I got home from work. M and I celebrated by switching on the oven and baking stuff. Obviously we had to leave the oven door open for half an hour to let all the spiders and moths and chipmunks who had taken up residence get out (of course I’m joking, get a grip). Quiche! Focaccia! A Whole Roast Pumpkin! We’ve been living off those three cooked things for the rest of the week.

Perhaps the cruellest blow has been the bread shortage. While there was a cache of bread in the freezer, it wasn’t my best work, and it’s gone now anyway. Nobody wants to bake bread when it’s 40°C.

But today, friends, is different. It’s cooler and more comfortable. As such, there has been bread-baking, bean-boiling and the sumptuous heating up of foods! This week promises to be cooler than last week, but the main thing is there will be bread!

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