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No immunity

Normally when I make cakey stuff, it’s from the oats-granola-nuts end of the spectrum.

These biscuits make me wish I was a better photographer.

So I don’t quite understand how I came to bake chocolate red wine cookies. I almost regret it because they’re incredible. On the first day I made them, I ate so many I felt sick…then two hours later ate some more. I’m pretty sure the last time I had an eat-till-you’re-sick binge I was prepubescent.

Action shot: Smooshy like heroin.

It’s probably because I never make biscuits this rich and lush, but I have zero resistance to them. I keep eating them despite having no intention of doing so: I head into the kitchen to get the whippersnipper or something and the next thing I know, my craw is crammed with crumbs and my eyes are rolling back in my head in dizzy happiness. I can’t stop.

Well, I probably could. I won’t.

Recipe: Chocolate Red Wine Cookies from a full measure of happiness. I made some mods, listed below:

Use this stuff

  • 110g butter
  • ¾ C brown sugar
  • ½ C sugar
  • ¼ C plum jam (needed using up and seemed appropriate)
  • 1 egg
  • 1 t vanilla
  • ½ C red wine (leftover cleanskin, maybe shiraz)
  • 1 ½ C flour
  • ¾ C cocoa
  • 1 t salt
  • 1 t baking soda
Do this stuff
  1. Cream butter and sugar and jam; whisk in the egg and vanilla and the red wine.
  2. Mix the dry stuff together and mix in. (At this point, you can add ½ C chocolate chips, but I didn’t have any and there isn’t a force on Earth that can get me to a shop when I don’t want to.) Mix until it’s just combined.
  3. Shape into bikkies and bake at 180°C for 10-15 minutes. Mine were still slightly soft when they came out of the oven, and firmed up as they cooled.
  4. Eat several. Then more.
These are seriously lush. They are not healthy. Not in a physiological/dietary/nutritional sense, anyway. They will probably make you happy while you’re eating them, though, and that probably counts for something along the lines of emotional or psychological health and repression and emotion and stuff. Just eat the damn things. (DISCLAIMER: is not a medical advice provider. We can’t even put on a bandaid without spraining something.)

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