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Today’s tutorial: using lemons to rebel and buffer against the forces of economics

Everyone keeps talking economics to me. There are nervous ripples all around me as everyone gets nervous about the US economy, the Euro economy, the Iceland economy. It got us talking about the Great Depression, about conservation, about frugality. So I did what any slightly off-in-the-head, not-really-sure-how-the-economy-works munchkin would do and did a stocktake of the fridge. We had about two kilos of lemons that had been donated by various friends whose abundance had turned into a curse. Chuckling about life giving us lemons (I say “chuckling”…I had to lean on the bench for support, knees buckling with the force of laughter, snorking for breath and trying not to wee), I got the salt out.


I’ve got jars, salt, lemons, a bit of spare time, and a tummy-boner for anything salty. Mein Gott I love preserved lemons. That shit is crazy-salty-sexy-good. I mean, I wasn’t fishing them out of the jar from the fridge like I do with gherkins or pickled beets (next batch ready in five days I CAN’T WAIT), but when I had them out anyway, I admit to a little salty nibblying. (Yes I mean nibblying. Don’t correct me.)

Alright recession, we're ready!

In the face of potentially crushing economic downturns, one ought to have as many things in jars in the cupboard as possible. And if many of those jars are groaning with tangy salty citrus deliciousness, all the better.

The lemon money shot

By the way, pro-tip for what to use preserved lemons in/on/for: take yourself a pizza base and brush it with olive oil, then sprinkle with crumbled feta, chilli flakes and finely chopped preserved lemon. Cook it until it’s all starting to brown lightly, then top with black pepper and baby spinach leaves before serving. No, no: no need to thank me. Have another slice.

So it’ll be about a month before these babies are ready, and that’s kind of a shame. But I’ll be brave. Meanwhile, there is a huge jar of sliced beetroot slowly pickling away, feeling my fridge with a kind of soft pink glow; and I’ve been experimenting with rice paper rolls for lunches; and I planted some basil seeds in the hydroponics whoozit we’ve got going…on the whole, I feel braced for whatever the economy slings at us. Whatever happens, I’ll have preserved lemons and basil. Well, in a while. Hey, security isn’t instant, you know! Shut up! Leave me alone!

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