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Blogging on the road

I am blogging on the go! The old-fashioned way: this post was originally drafted by pen, in a moving vehicle. A long car trip, not of our choosing, appeared on the schedule. As someone who guards their weekend with the snarling jealousy of a griffin defending its hoard of Snickers bars, this was not an especially welcome development. I resented the time taken away from things I wanted to do. I sulked a bit. I felt the way I imagine a horse feels when it’s in a pony float and driven past ponies frisking in a paddock — actually, as metaphors go, that’s not a very good one. It’s just a simple substitute of “horse” for “bethini”. Moving on. I decided to make the most of it and turn my car trip into a dynamic, productive and useful session — well, as much of any of those things as I could, given the limited options for in-car activities. Obvious choice: knitting. Makes idle time useful! Makes one productive and lessens the boredom!

WIP and WIPs-in-waiting

I brought my nearly-done WIP, plus notes on how to finish it, plus notes on the next project to cast on, plus a sack of yarns I had vague plans for. I’m daydreaming about thick, striped socks. Long car trips can be teh total suck, and I was proud of myself for making the most of a crappy situation.

O grab-bag of wonderment!

But as the drive rolled along and I knit happily, it occurred to me that this wasn’t a case of life giving me lemons and me making lemonade, as I had previously congratulated myself. This was a case of life giving me lemons and me eating the lemons with surprising satisfaction. Goddamn it, when life gives you lemons, eat the fucking lemons, because life knows what it’s doing. While I dreaded the prospect of hours of idly waiting for the road to be used up and our destination to appear, the reality of sitting quietly for a few hours, knitting, occasionally writing, and thinking, was fantastic. Not something I do very often, sitting and thinking. I knit while I’m reading, or talking, or watching awesome videos online. Thinking quietly while knitting was novel.

A short thought tangent, but bear with me: yesterday I wrote a to-do list of all the things I really felt like doing. It grew and grew, and then it started to bug me, and I recognised all the signs of setting myself up to fail. There’s only so many hours between breakfast and bedtime, and my list was getting seriously epic. It had chapters. It would make me sad to try and do all the things on my list, because there were too many. So I forced myself to take a deep breath and choose just four things. Less than half the original. And, in keeping with my Do The Fun Stuff First approach, I chose the funnest things on the list. It was awesome: working on each thing was relaxing because, seeing how I only had a few things to do, I could take my time and focus. I did fewer things, and better ones.

I thought about this again today, while confined to the car for a few hours. My options for amusing myself were reduced to writing, knitting, and thinking. So I did those, and they were awesome. I wrote and thought and knitted and thought and wrote some more, and by the time the car trip ended, I felt clear-headed and introspective. Like my brain was a birdbath scrubbed free of poo and the world a curious and thirsty wren alighting on its rim. (As you can tell, I’ve been working on my metaphors. I think this one is better than the pony float one above. Discuss.)

This is one of those revelations I have to have every couple of months or so, because I forget it and slip back into old habits. The old habit I’m thinking of is the one where I decide if a day is “good” or “bad” based on how much I feel I’ve achieved, how productive I am, etc. Not a totally muddle-headed approach, but mean I tend to undervalue chillaxing and resting, and treat doing the fun stuff as somehow less of an achievement. I am happier when I do less and do what I enjoy.

How many times can I have the same revelation and still call it an epiphany?

{ 5 } Comments

  1. Megan | February 17, 2017 at 9:50 am | Permalink

    Hi! I just came across your blog. I am 33 years old, and was just diagnosed as Celiac this past year (but pretty sure I’ve been celiac my whole life). I am concerned because I eat insane amounts of salt (can tell from my blood work that i’m instigating a mild hyperchloremic acidosis due to so much chloride and low blood CO2, but my salt is borderline low, so if I didn’t eat that much it could be bad!). I am so tired though. If you can see my email address and have enough time to reply, do you think the meds make you feel more lively? I know there are so many bad sides to them, and it is a dependence for the rest of one’s life, so I hesitate asking for adrenal tests. I am sort of hoping adopting the gluten free diet will make these things reverse. However, I just starting having irregular periods (like every 2 weeks), and joint pain and pleurisy have crept in there, even though I’ve been hypergood on the diet. Some people seem to say the meds for addison’s didn’t really make them feel better, while some do. I’m just weighing in on this before I put something on my record that I don’t plan on following through with! I really think it might improve naturally, in my case maybe. Thanks a bunch. Megan

  2. Sally Schofield | April 6, 2017 at 5:50 pm | Permalink

    You have no idea how relieved I am to have found this blog. After feeling like shit for a year, and being made to feel like I was needing to ‘man up’ I collapsed after a family funeral (AD crisis we now realise) and was diagnosed with Addison’s last Friday! I have caught a stinking cold (from hanging out in so many germy Dr’s and hospitals last week), and can feel the familiar stars behind the eyes, OMG faint coming-falling-over feeling and thought I was going mad. I googled and got you!

    Great advice! <3

  3. Michelle | July 2, 2017 at 12:03 pm | Permalink

    Suzanna, I stumbled across your blog and it hit home right away. I was just diagnosed with Addison’s Disease and Hashimotos less than a year ago after being unwell for many years. I am currently battling getting over a cold. I might not be dosing up enough, standard dose 15mg daily, sick dose 25mg. I need to figure this out and get well, it has been over a week and I still feel bad, sinus, eye, ear, throat, headache, really tired , muscle and joint pain, and overall feel unwell. Colds usually took months to get over before my diagnosis. And I have only been sick with a cold a few times since. For some reason, I got over those quicker but I was not on thyroid medicine since my Hashimotos diagnosis came later. I had a really bad reaction/ adrenal crisis to Synthroid and had to quit it for a while but my dr put me on a new med tirosint just twice a week prior to my coming down with this cold. I wonder if this is draining my adrenal glands more and possibly I need a higher sick dose, etc.

    Thanks so much for your honesty and your blog. I do not know anyone that has Addison’s disease. I would appreciate any thoughts or advice. One can only reasearch so much. Thanks again. Wishing you a wonderful summer. MIchelle

  4. Kimberley Talia | March 18, 2018 at 5:27 am | Permalink

    Thank you so much for this blog. I’m newly diagnosed with Addison’s Feb. 2018 and am combing the internet for information on signs that my medication is off. I was near death at the time of diagnosis, thus my out patient med prescription were high. Now that my body has healed I can feel that everything is gone out of whack again and that one of the 2 meds needs to be adjusted. There is so little online about how to know when your hydro-cortisone dose is too high or low and likewise, Fludrocortisone. Your posts have been so helpful. I cannot thank you enough.

  5. Julia Long | May 16, 2018 at 7:29 am | Permalink

    I wanted to thank you. I am laying in bed trying to figure out if I should stress dose or scream. Lol. I came upon you and I felt so much better. A real person with real ideas and solutions to questions, symptoms and just plain living life with this disease. Stress dose it is and sleep.

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