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Questions I have, answers I not.

  1. Etiquette: you have been out walking in your lunchbreak. You are listening to your ipod and generally grooving. As you return to your workspace, you realise a quick bathroom stop is in order. Do you (a) return your ipod to your desk and then double back to go to the bathroom; or (b) wear your ipod into the bathroom, grooving as you go? The first option is not only a whole lot more walking, it’s like saying “Hi coworkers, I’m back — guess where I’m going now!”. Plus it blurs the boundaries about whether you’re still on a break or not. The second option seems…I can’t put my finger on it. Decadent? Icky? Weird? Or entirely reasonable and practical? (For the purposes of this hypothetical, the ipod remains in your pocket the entire time you’re in the bathroom: it doesn’t get handled in any way during the bathroom visit.) Am I overthinking this?
  2. Why is everyone obsessed with almonds at the moment? My daily reading of foodgawker (maybe more than daily) reveals to me a boom in make-it-yourself almond butter and almond milk. Why? What happened? Did Oprah announce it Year of the Almond? Has Justin Bieber released an almond-praising single? Has…rummages in mental sack of pop culture references…discovers only mice poops and jokes about Hugh Grant and Divine Brown…what’s going on? Allow me to emphasise I don’t think this is a bad thing, by any stretch. I have tried neither but like the sound of both, and if I hadn’t already used up most of our almonds in muesli and our inaugural toasted-almond-eating competition, I’d be all over that scene like diamantes on a teacup chihuahua. I’m just curious, is all.
  3. Not pictured: anything but almonds.

    Almonds are mighty nice nuts. Now that I think about it, I’m seeing lots of almond cookie recipes, too — more of the same trend, or am I developing some sort of Amygdalus monomania?

  4. Why does the mystery citrus bush in my front yard even need spines? Who’s it trying to impress? It’s very goth, of course, but it’s hard to get at the damn fruit. Which I suppose is the idea, but frankly if it’s not going to share its fruit, then its days in the garden bed may be numbered with small numbers. Even if it was growing wild — aren’t the fruits the bit the tree is supposed to share to get the seeds out there and circulating its genes around? I got so violently prickled (sharp thorns! hard thorns! thorns that puncture clothing and skin and leave an itchy red bump because I’m not used to plant injuries and couldn’t be arsed washing it right away!) picking the first fruit that I didn’t bother with the second.

    Who is?

    And while we’re pointing a big fat “explain yourself” at this bush, what the fuck is it? It doesn’t smell like a lemon. It is yellow and round. It feels super-hard for a citrus, so maybe I have picked it prematurely.

  5. What to do with butter beans? I freaking love them. I’ve been having them in couscous, pulped into a thick dip/tortilla spread, in a curry, tossed in salads — what should I try next?
  6. Has anybody seen my tape measure? My good one, the long one that goes all the way around me? I have my little trusty travel one, but I can’t find the good one. Thoughts?

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