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Made some powerful fine gomfables for lunch today, and wanted to let you know how and what they were so that you can quiver fearfully under mine awesome gaze. And so you can make them yourself. I’m not your Mummy, I ain’t doin’ it. I freaking love fresh rice paper rolls. I can see why they are called Summer rolls: they’re cold and soft and tasty and the best thing ever when it’s hot. Right now, it’s 35°C and rising.  As a lunch, this was a genius move that should be sung about in ballads.

Sexy Genius Fresh Rice Paper Rolls
You’ll need:
– Rice paper sheets
– Firm tofu
– Spicy! flavour-sensation! paste! (Recipe below.)
– Red capsicum
– Cucumber
– Shallots
– Mint and basil
(or whatever vegetables and herbs tickle your fancy)

Spicy! flavour-sensation! paste!:
In a food processor, or underneath your trusty stick blender, whirr a mix of the following:
– a handful of roasted, salted cashews
– a drizzle of peanut oil
– a drizzle of soy sauce
– a generous spoonful of chilli powder
– a couple of teaspoons of cumin seeds
– a teaspoon of ground coriander powder

Mix up your quantities according to taste. Maybe you’d prefer peanuts instead of cashews? Maybe you’d prefer a PUNCH IN THE HEAD? Whoops, sorry, got distracted. Don’t put too much oil/soy sauce in, because you want a very thick, firm paste.
How to be as great as me make them

"Smear" is not a word I would normally use in a recipe...

Slice your firm tofu into slivers and paste generously with your Spicy! flavour-sensation! paste! Set them aside for the time being. Slice the veggies and herbs into very thin sticks/slivers.

Slivers and slices and shreds.

To prepare the rice paper, fill a dish with boiling water — a big frypan is a good option: anything that doesn’t crumple or squash the sheets. Soak each sheet, one at a time, in the boiling water, until it goes soft. Then whisk it over to your working area and assemble! Fill with fillings, laying them all in a neat vertical parcel across the mirror, then wrap up tightly. Tuck the ends in as you go to keep it neat. Or not. Not is fine. Move pretty quickly, because the rice paper sheets will dry out and stick to things after a bit, but don’t panic or anything. Jeez, lighten up. Set each one aside as you finish and prepare the next one!

Hard to take photos when the HUNGER RAGES.

Eat: GOMF GOMF GOMF. You can dip them in sauce if you think they need it, but frankly, they don’t. GOMF GOMF.

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