I wanted to share something special with you. The world’s most awesome sexy ugly pear.  When asked if I wanted anything in particular from the fruit stall at the markets, I told M I wanted a single pear. (This dialogue makes us sound like Peter and Benjamin Bunny: be assured, immediately before this exchange, I smashed him in the face with a vodka bottle.) Knowing my aesthetic inclinations, he chose the pear I would have chosen myself — a juicy, swollen-bottomed, nobbly piece of lush magnificence:

Big fat sexy pear!

That is one sexy ugly pear. I love it. It was almost a shame to eat it, but its sweet juicy awesomeness was overwhelming. It is as delicious as it is ugly.

A fruit of enigma and shadow.

Here’s how massive it is, in my little hand:

Chunkers!

That will be all.