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In which you learn the bitter truth

I’m still recovering from being sick and that means Recovery Knitting.  If you continue reading this blog post, I can assure you that you are unlikely to find anything of interest. Surely you must know that Recovery Knitting means dull knitting? After all, when you’re ailing, you don’t want some flashy fair isle waggling its many disorienting colours about, or some convoluted cable temptress writhing all over the place, do you? Either of those would make you dizzy. No, you want good, steady, relaxing knitting.  Something with lots of stockinette or garter, or, as it turns out I’m not quite at death’s door yet (you should see the queue! tish-boom!), something with a two-row pattern you can either memorise or infer from the previous row.

Indicative Case One: Intolerable Cruelty 2.  She’s cast-off, she’s woven in, she’s waiting for that last step of sewing up the elastic casing without completely arseing it up. Beloved, distant, teasing: when I sew up that elastic casing, dogs will sing happy songs and I will step down from this tree of Feeling Like Crap, a queen. In a knitted skirt.  It’s getting closer: I harbour a secret wish to succeed over Easter.


Indicative Case Two: The Everlasting Bagstopper.  This is not really a spectator-knit.  This is not even slightly a spectator-knit: this is perhaps the dullest thing I have ever photographed and blogged about, and it thrills my heart with such tender joy that makes me a little embarrassed.  I like this photo: the bag has a plain bottom and then miles of simple lace which gives the bag its, well, give.  In this shot, the lace is all scrunched-up and complicated-looking, when it was actually just easy-peasy basic YO/k2tog alternated with plain knit rounds.


That garter stitch bottom made me feel calm and soothed in a way I never expected, and the complete lack of a need to make it perfect was really relaxing — after all, it’s a shopping bag. Provided there aren’t any holes fruit can fall through, I’ve succeeded and made something useful and cool that wasn’t there before. Knitting this bag has been surprisingly therapeutic and I have plans for more.

It came as a significant shock to me (I am quite serious about the level of surprise here) when I realised I have knit nothing but grey this month, with one small, ill-thought-out exception I’ll get to shortly.

Indicative Case Three: Silver Sands is back on the scene.  This is a really lovely, soft yarn; this is an easily-memorised pattern; this is a scarf that I have no urgency to finish apart from a wish to complete a few of the UFOs cluttering up this pup tent.  The yarn is so, so, so soft, and has a kind of dreamy, hazy feel to the colour changes that is charming me.


Indicative Case Four: Weird freak of cast-on that, if anything, only confirms the need for Recovery Knitting: a baby’s hat in Watermelon Sock Yarn. (Well, it was a baby’s hat. Now it’s yarn again.)


Vivid! Bold! Dynamic! What the hell was I thinking? This yarn rocks, but I don’t know any babies who need a woolly hat, however awesome, and I don’t know anybody who has plans for a baby — and, y’know what? I’m pretty sure that someday I’m not going to be sick anymore and dammit, when that happens, I think I can get a pair of Watermelon sockettes out of this yarn.  The hat is ripped: this yarn is being put away until I can be trusted to use colourful yarns without getting all zesty in the faculties, if you catch my drift.

So, you made it to the end of the post, huh? Well, in that case, dedicated and faithful peruser, I have to confess that now you have faced the bitter truth about me. The cold reality is that I am a very, very boring knitter right now — maybe I always have been and its just that I can no longer shut my eyes to the mounting evidence. I am sailing a sea of grey garter stitch, and instead of it making me want to bite violent and colourful mouthfuls out of passing parrots, it is making me feel curiously serene. Peace out.

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